They asked me to come here this morning
To talk of fire drill and the warning
That's given just before the time
To tell you where to form a line
Apparently the rules are there
Printed clearly, if you stare
On any wall they are displayed
But however we are still dismayed
(to find they're never quite obeyed)
For every stair well in this school
And every classroom, there's a rule
"State procedure in case of fire"
And yet we teachers daily tire
Of pupils who do not have time
To look at these and read the lines.
One such person, sad to say
He is not with the school today
Decided he did not require
Regulations regarding fire
He daily passed four separate views
That explained procedures used
Never once did he design
To look upon the obvious sign.
And yet this inattentive soul
Did not feel he'd missed his goal
Knew the system, played his part
In fact our friend was just "All heart".
Helped old grannies cross the street
Took boy scouts out of horses' feet
Knew where to buy the trendiest gear
And how to "twag" from school all year.
However when he came to school
He didn't read the golden rule
"Where to be when flames consume
Your teacher- books- and tutor room."
Didn't know the well known tone
Thought it was for going home.
And sure enough it came to pass
When he was "twagging" from the class
Went to the toilet for a smoke
(an excuse that's used by many folk)
If you ever get stuck with the theme Fire Drill
When bored with this slight deviation
He went back in for registration
Flipped his butt into the bin
Regarded by most as a mortal sin.
For as he left that cloistered hall
The smouldering ash began to fall
Upon the plastic tiles below
Which very soon began to glow
It was not long before the flames
Had eaten doors and floors the same
Cutting off the entrance halls
And creeping quickly up the walls
Our friend by this time resumed his place
And had not slipped from teacher's grace
He'd got his mark and meant to go
As soon as the tone was heard - Oh woe
A high pitched beeping filled the air
He left the class, ran down the stair
Came face to face with sheets of flames
He thought his eyes were playing games.
Tried to run - a quick retreat
But the flames were quick, they had him beat
Ran screaming through the flame filled halls
There was no one there to hear his calls.
The rest had left another way
They'd stopped to hear the teacher say
"Fire drill- all walk, don't run
Use the side door- not that one
Gather with your tutor there
In alphabetical name- order
Abbots, Casters, Davies all
Answered to the teacher's call
Time was now the crucial game
Would they find the missing name?
Of our friend it's sad but true
His name was William Zaradoo
Now readers you must all take heed
Next time you see a fire list --- READ
Don't trust to luck on that fateful day
(unless your last name starts with "A")