I ask for a new line, I get inserted CAD
I just touch the mouse and the menus go mad
Spell checker is happy if I spell socks with an X
When I'm trying to save you want Name, Rank, and Sex!

If  I dare change the font you reformat with glee
And you move all my text down from page 2 to 3
Then dare to ask 'would you like to PREVIEW?"
And show me a letter someone wrote in Urdu

And as for the FORMAT, I won't go again
You wrote in small caps and then set out a frame
Removed all the borders and boxed all the text
And then asked me to paginate "All keep with next"

You seem to think Swedish is my native tongue
And ASCII and ANSI were just coded for fun 
You don't like the Pound sign; I have to use YEN 
Now I post-script my letters divide prices by ten

 You're Grammar checks great, (if you speak like a DORK)
And the Flesch Grade is nice for the guys in New York
But now you've discovered a new kind of hell
You keep drifting away to use simple Excel

Now I've mentioned all this, have you taken the hint?
Is that why I'm having all this trouble to print?
You've shown me the PREVIEW don't want to MERGE
Am I OUTSIDE THE MARGINS? I don't want to CONVERGE

I've been trying for hours now (I've just checked the log)
I want a printout of this not the FLESCH or the FOG
I'm not really concerned if you can't SAVE THE CHANGE
Or even if FORMAT CANNOT BE RE-ARRANGED

All I want is hard copy, a simple request
Now swallow your grammar and please do your best
I've primed up the printer and filled up the tray
Do you possibly think you can print it TODAY?

 
Not the SUMMARY INFO, NO, the TEMPLATE IS FINE,
 And don't put all the text on one single line

Just do what I want and I will be gone 
Never again to select your icon
'Just print this damn letter, that's what you're here for
Blast! I've just hit Alt and F4