Team Work .....and how not to I've come here this morning to tell you 'Bout team-work and how it is done Like soccer or cricket match players All working together as one You can't climb a mountain without it It's used by the whole human race There's one or two things you can do by yourself But you can't win a three legged race But enough of this flowery rubbish We'll get down to cases and fact 'Bout team-work  and working together And how Harry was caught in the act Now taking the case of young Harry (I don't think he's here so I'll tell) How Harry could cause you more bother Than Satan could cause you in Hell He didn't need team did this lad 'cept when he was doing a house Besides none of his mates would trust him Even his dad said he was a bit of a louse He would get in to school for assembly And leave after getting his mark He didn't like twagging in town though He'd spend his day touring the park Now some people are naturally honest But he was a natural thief I'll not say was bad but if you spoke to the lad He'd probably nick your false teeth Well team-work was not Harry's forte To help others he wasn't too keen But when it came to shop-lifting He decided to set up a team There was "Hawk-eye" kept look-out for Harry Trouble was he would stutter some t.t.t.times And when he had to shout "There's a copper about!" He'd panic and forget all his lines Young Eric did all of the running When Harry slipped him the goods from the shops But poor fellow suffered from asthma And he ran out of wind before cops Little Florrie (a charming young lady) Would cause a diversion in store And while she'd scream and shout He'd run about seeing what there was there he could score The team worked quite well saving failures When Hawkeye forgot what to say Or Eric fell over a tortoise (It'd been following him around all that day) Or when Florrie failed to distract them By throwing a fit on the floor And customers stood about clapping Saying "Have you done acting before?" But this team didn't have any direction They turned over Mother Care twice From a Chinese they nicked 50 chopsticks And who wants  six  pound of fried rice?

(If you ever get stuck with an assembly about teamwork ,like I once did,..........please use,) But with team-work they came to agreement That they'd shoplift to order for mates You could order a left handed door-knob Or a set of antique china plates All requests were dealt with quite promptly Harry gave discount on fees The good went quite well but you never could tell He didn't supply guarantees Business picked up for these "tea leaves" And the local police noticed the thefts But it caused quite a stir when young Florrie went there And said "Gentlemen... any requethsths?" "Ere what does lass mean?" said the sergeant Looking at Florrie with fear "I've heard that she has a record She's not going to play it in here" I work for "You want and we get it " Our motto's "There's no job too small" Whatever you need we can get it with speed If you want 'out just give us a call Now the sergeant looked cross eyed at Florrie But remembered his manners all same And said  "Nay lass there's nowt you can do To help lads with tomorrow's big game" "What's on tomorrow?" said Florrie (At times she could sound quite posh) The sergeant said "Lads want to play football And their jerseys are all in the wash Florrie smiled and said that she could fix it They sorted out details right there She arranged to meet sergeant at midnight Under the clock in the square Now Harry found the order quite easy to fill In Rovers club house at half time Dressed as a grounds man he snaffled the gear Before the ball left the touch-line When the sarge saw the jumpers By he was pleased Said "Ee Harry you've saved us a match We  play against Rovers tomorrow at three .......... Now some of you may see the catch It didn't take long for the police force to twig Where Harry had found all the vests At two minutes passed three on the day of the match "The police had made several arrests" A police team was sent to find Harry in Park And they grabbed him before he had left Harry came clean and he grassed on the team And the sarge charged them all with grand theft Now Harry does team-work on mail bags inside Using yarn strong as this one I'm spinning So before you use team-work you've got to decide You must join a team that is winning.