Am I the only
sane
person left or has advertising suddenly gone mad? Do you stare at the
TV screen night after night like me saying “What the hell was that
all about?” just after some strange array of people have thrust a
blend of colours and gimmicks at you? Where do these
advertising people live? I imagine this penthouse somewhere in London
where this totally isolated person lives holding a cell-phone in one
hand and a fax-book in the other saying “Ya Ya that’ll work”.
Then, just like ‘Derwent’ in “Bewitched”, offering a display
to a group of bloated old bosses that haven’t even seen their
customers who say… “I like it” The next day we are
assailed by some meaningless dribble that says more for the
advertisers taste in women than it does for the product he’s
pushing. Isn’t it time they
woke up and started to get to the point? I’m Joe Public I’m the
one that wants to buy it. Screaming at me to tell me insurance costs
are “Just stupid” just affirms my belief. It doesn’t make me
leap out and buy them. All these happy women running around in white
trousers when they probably feel more like crawling under a rock!
Ladies, in South America the tribal women have you beat, they just
slope off to the long-house for a few days and smoke strange
substances till they feel better.
Animated
telephones that leap at
you before breakfast and turn on the TV telling you how to solve your
financial problems. Are we really this
gullible? Do we really live in the same world?. Ladies,
when’s the
last time you smiled sweetly when your son came home with a bag full
of dirty washing at the week end? Lets look at this a little closer.
Imagine I’m from another planet and I’ve been ‘monitoring’
the broadcasts recently.
Observation1:- Women
are
quite silly and can’t cope with simple chores like house work.
Evidence1:- They have been
buying the wrong washing powder for years and any other member of the
family has more nous when it comes to shopping for a washing powder
that not only does the original job and soften the clothes but costs
less.
Evidence2:- Husbands
can
easily fool them by buying an advanced brand of kitchen cleaner that
does the task in half the time and allow them extra time in the bath
and extra credits as a hard worker.
Evidence3:-The
drab,
boring thing they married is suddenly transformed into the most
desirable thing since sliced bread if he starts washing his new car.
Evidence4:- Women
often
slope off to the “races” with hubby’s fishing reel and take
part in an “absorbing” race that involves drying the floor.
Evidence 5:- They
frequently park their cars in the middle of the road to go shopping
for the evening meal. Then spend the time preparing it attached to a
‘phone line.
The
same
observations could be made for men, They are incapable of making
simple meals and doing the house work. They live under the
misapprehension that failure to clean the last dish will obviate them
from further washing up. They constantly repair cars wearing very
fashionable “modern fabrics” and live in strange garrets supplied
only with a seat and a television with a hostile sound system. Let’s
face it we don’t fare well in the average TV advert.
What’s happened
to
advertising?
I must admit that a
lot of recent advertising has left me wondering if they are simply
trying to brain wash us into buying. They outlawed subliminal
advertising some time ago. That’s advertising by flashing pictures
on the screen so fast you fail to “consciously” notice it. They
say that method of selling or suggestion is so powerful you could get
the entire population to stop smoking overnight. I suppose a lot of
people would think that would be useful. However the next night they
may suggest we all go out and vote for a particular party or buy a
particular product. Well they may not be allowed to use subliminal
advertising but they seem to think that annoying us by turning the
volume up and throwing strange surreal concepts at us that we will be
motivated Into becoming a user.
Where have all the jingles
gone?
Remember when
adverts really made their point? They gave you clever jungles, little
catch phrases they made you remember the product. True, we still
have some catch phrases around but I must admit they seem poor,
forced attempts; people patting pockets; making “twee” comments
about breakfast cereals. They don’t seem to have the panache the
old ones had when beanz meanz …… or Drinka Pinta…… and so
forth. Tea companies would entice you with “The Morning Music”;
Opera signers would do arias about ice-cream and the world was filled
with the sound of jingles.
Nowadays
the
product seems to get lost in quick asides that have little relevance
to the topic I still
remember the jingle they used with the last name and the new name
isn’t going to make anyone’s “mouth water”.
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